


What to do with a heart that is chipped?

by negamicchi



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Rumbelle Secret Santa 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/negamicchi/pseuds/negamicchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mr. Gold is a single father who lives with his son Neal in New York. One day he has to hire a nanny. He leaves an ad in the morning paper, but he doesn't know how that particular nanny will change, not only Neal's life, but his too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What to do with a heart that is chipped?

It was August when Mr. Gold realized he was broke.

Well, he had never had that much money. In the past years he had been working as a cleaner in one of those big fancy buildings in Wall Street where the great white sharks in expensive suits had made themselves rich, Mr. Gold had had a lesser outcome. Cleaner's not a job that gives you the high class lifestyle, but he had managed. He hadn't had the money for expensive electronics or a car, but he had always been able to clothe and feed his little boy, and even give him birthday presents and Christmas dinners.

But a few months ago he was fired. Apparently they didn't have room for him anymore, they didn't tell him anything about the decision or even give him time to prepare. One day the bosses just told Mr. Gold that he was not needed. It really pissed him off, not because he couldn't find another job 'cause he could if he had the time, but because the job he had was perfect. Mr. Gold didn't have any impressive diplomas – as a kid abandoned to an orphanage he hadn't got enough money for education – but still he had been lucky to find an excellent fit. He was always in a night shift, so he could spend the days with his son. But now that chance had been taken away from him, and he wasn't sure he could get another job like that.

For the few jobless months Mr. Gold had brought food to the table with his savings, but now they were almost all gone so he had to start looking for a job. It just wasn't very easy since he couldn't just leave his six-year-old son at home all alone. But when there was only enough money for the rent and the food for next three months, he knew he didn't have a choice.

Before he could start his life as an employee again, he had to find someone to look over the boy, so he used most of his last bucks for a want ad in the next morning's paper.

”What should I put in this, son?” Mr. Gold asked when he was drafting the ad. His son Neal sat opposite him, smashing his breakfast porridge with his spoon. Some porridge splattered over Gold's face, which made Neal laugh out loud and be even more violent towards his breakfast. ”Hey, I'm trying to concentrate here. So, you have any ideas?”

”I want a nice person,” Neal answered. ”And no bedtimes.”

”Ohh, those you won't get rid of,” Mr. Gold laughed. ”But a nice person would be, well, nice. Anything else?”

”Well...” Neal wrinkled his eyebrows – a trick he had learned only a few weeks ago and did now all the time to impress his father – and crossed his little arms. ”People who don't want money.”

”Okay,” Mr. Gold sighed and looked at the paper in front of him. He was really ashamed by the fact that the six-yead-old was already stressing over things like money. Neal was so young, kids at his age should be cheerful and careless, for God's sake, and Mr. Gold hated himself so much for not being able to keep their poverty as a secret from Neal. But of course he couldn't reveal that, too, to the boy – his self loathing would cause his son just more misery.

When Neal had finished his breakfast, Mr. Gold sent him to his room and called the local newspaper. In the next morning's paper there was a little note with Mr. Gold's contact information and this little piece of words:

 

_Looking for a nurse who doesn't need the biggest purse. We'd hope you to be cheerful, kind and nice, not afraid of mice and not demanding the grand price._

 

_If you're willing to work in a clean little house with minimum wage and the most wonderful boy in the world, this job is just for you._

 

_Yours truly, Mr. Gold._

 

*

 

Three days after Mr. Gold's advertisement had been made public, the phone rang.

”Hello, it's the Gold residence,” Mr. Gold said.

”Hi,” answered a bright, young voice. A lady's voice. ”I saw your ad in the paper and I was wondering, if the place is still available.”

Mr. Gold had anticipated that the nanny would be a female – most nannies were – but it still made him a bit nervous when he had to talk to one. He wasn't afraid of women or anything, it was just that he hadn't had any positive experiences with them, not even once in his life. His mother had left him right after he was born. In his early twenties he had had his first lover, a woman called Cora, but she had left him too, because she wanted to run the congress and he would have been in her way. In his late thirties he had met his second lover, a lovely lady called Milah, who was also Neal's mother – but she also had left him. In that case it was a younger, more handsome guy. That guy was a junkie who robbed local stores once a month, and Mr. Gold still didn't know why Milah would leave her own son for a man like that. He had come to the conclusion that she just didn't like Mr. Gold himself. And he understood why. He wasn't anything special, not exciting or good looking or great in bed. But that didn't matter as long as he had his little boy, Neal was his whole world and he would find him a good nurse even if he had to do something as fearsome as talking to a woman.

”Yes, it most certainly is,” Mr. Gold answered.

”Great!” The lady's voice was filled with relief. ”Is it okay if I come there tomorrow morning? To make the contract and to meet you.”

”That sounds perfect. How about ten o'clock? Do you have my address?”

”Yes, I got it from the ad. See you tomorrow, then!”

 

*

 

In the next morning the doorbell rang. Mr. Gold sighed and hurried to open the door. Neal had woken up only an hour ago, but Mr. Gold had made himself busy for a much longer time, cleaning his apartment and trying to find some clothes that didn't make him look so impoverished that he actually was. He found out his suit was covered with filth and dust, so he had to make do with his old Bee Gees tee and jeans. At least they were clean and in a bearable condition.

”Do I look okay?” he asked before he opened the door. Neal smiled and brought both of his thumbs up. Mr. Gold smiled back and let the mysterious lady come into his life. ”Good morning.”

”Morning. How are you?” the lady asked and walked past Gold. She didn't bother to wait for an answer as she looked around the house. ”So, you're a fan of the Bee Gees?”

”Yes,” Mr. Gold answered and closed the door. ”Well, I was in my younger days.”

”Nice, I like them too,” the lady said, smiling at Mr. Gold. ”Stayin' Alive has been my ringtone for ages.”

”That – that's a fine song. Do you want some coffee?”

”A cup or two would be fine, thank you.”

Mr. Gold walked to the kitchen where he had already made the coffee ready. He took his finest cups from the cupboard, they were white with golden moldings and a blue twig painted on them. He had bought them from a second hand store years ago, for his first date with Milah. He had kept them all these years because they were beautiful and they handy in occasions like this. He poured two cups full of coffee and one full of apple juice for Neal.

”You're the little Gold, right? What's your name?” Mr. Gold heard the new nanny talking with his son. It made him glad to hear the kindness from the girl's voice.

”I'm Neal, ma'am,” Neal answered. ”Who are you?”

”I'm Belle. Belle French.”

”Oh, are you from France?”

Mr. Gold chuckled as he brought the cups to the other too. He saw Belle laugh too. Somehow, in that moment, he knew that he could trust that woman. Her laughter made something ignite in his heart. Something warm and almost fuzzy. He couldn't help but smile when he offered the coffee to Belle.

”Thank you,” she said. ”And no, I am not from France, I'm from New York.”

”Oh,” Neal answered and sipped his juice.

”Oh no, don't sound so disappointed,” Belle said. ”I can speak a little French, if it makes you happy.”

”Oh my god, really?” Neal asked, his eyes gleaming.

”Well, not much, but, uh.” Belle coughed a bit. ”Bonjour. Je m'appelle Belle French. J'aime le chocolat.”

Neal clapped his hands and laughed, he was clearly excited. ”Did you hear, papa? We have a fore... forie... an outsider!”

”Did you mean to say foreigner?” Mr. Gold laughed.

”Do you always have to be caught with little details?” Neal said with his best impression of an authoritative voice.

”You already sound like an adult,” Belle giggled and turned to Mr. Gold. ”Are you sure you need a nurse here, uh... what was your name again?”

”Just call me Mr. Gold,” he said.

”Oh, are you a formal type?”

”Not really, I... I just don't like my first name.”

”Whatever suits you.” Belle shrugged. ”Hey, are you okay? Did I offend you?”

Mr. Gold boggled. He hadn't realized he was wearing a frown on his face. ”Yes, I'm okay,” he smiled. His answer was truthful, really, he was okay. He just hated his name, or more like he was ashamed of it, and he didn't want to bother himself with thinking about it. He was okay as long as he didn't need to speak it out loud, and in this case it wasn't necessary, so everything was completely fine.

What he didn't know, though, was that Belle didn't want to give up. She was a curious person, especially when it came to things that she liked. And she had already developed a positive feeling towards that kind man. Somehow, she wasn't sure why, but for some reason she felt like she wanted to protect that man. There was something in his mannerisms and the way he talked that revealed he was... lost. That was the only word that could describe the feeling Belle got from that man. He was lost and Belle wanted to help him, cause he also seemed to be a good person and in Belle's opinion it was unfair that good people had to be in such a bad state as lost.

But if Belle wanted to help him, she had to learn more about him – how could you help someone you don't know anything about? And certainly a first name was something she had to learn among the first things. So when they had finished their coffee – or in Neal's case, juice – and spent an hour or so chit chatting and talking about the work, and Belle had left and was walking back to her home, she had decided that in her first official working day at Gold's house, she would find out his name.

 

*

 

In her first two weeks, Belle found out that the task wasn't as easy as she had thought.

Belle had tried to be sneaky and careful. She didn't want Mr. Gold to find out about her plans, since she knew Gold really didn't want her to know his name. In her third day they had had a discussion about the topic when they were eating dinner – Mr. Gold had insisted that Belle would stay for dinner in the evenings because he couldn't pay her that big of a salary – but it hadn't ended well. It was the first time Belle heard coldness in his voice, when he ha asked her to stop talking about his name. It didn't scare her, no, it only made her more curious, but she understood that the conversation was making Mr. Gold uncomfortable, so she had changed the subject.

But after that conversation, Belle tried to search the information when Gold was out there hunting a job. She didn't ask Neal anything, since she knew Neal could tell his father if she did, but Belle had other ways. Every day she had to put Neal to sleep for two hours, and after she had made sure Neal was in a fine state of slumber, she started searching the closets and bookshelves and every place she thought could hide that damned name she wanted to know. But she found nothing. There were no old bills, no doctor's warrants, not even old passports. She figured out that if she wanted to learn the secret, she should steal Mr. Gold's wallet, because there had to be a driver's license or some other sort of identification. But Gold always kept it with him, so she didn't really have a chance to do that.

It would be wrong to say that the time Belle had spent in Mr. Gold's apartment had been all for nothing, though. In every morning she was happy to wake up, cause she loved to spend time with Neal and teach him all kinds of things. Neal already knew how to read at the time Belle first came to the house, but she teached him to write, and when she rang the doorbell in the Monday morning after the first weekend, Neal opened the door and was very excited to show her that he has mastered to write all of the alphabet. It made her really proud.

And not only did she teach, but she also learned. Even though she didn't get to know Gold's name, she learned many things about him at the dinners they had. Mr. Gold did love the Bee Gees, but he was actually a sucker for jazz music. He had learned to play a little bit of the piano as a kid. He liked to cook and was pretty good at it. He didn't like to knit, 'cause that was a thing he was bad at. He had been a single for five years, but he told her he was happy enough to be with his son.

When Belle heard for the first time that Gold was an abandoned child, she had to swallow back the tears. The way Gold told her about it was too casual. Like it was a normal thing, or at least in his life. To be left alone. In her youth Belle had been a little insecure about herself, like most teenagers. But to meet a 40-something year old man who thought he was worth to be abandoned...

It was sad. Belle had never met a person, whose fate was as sad as Mr. Gold's. And though at the moment it was only in her subconscious, the decision was already made.

She didn't know it yet, but she had already decided to dedicate her life for making Mr. Gold's life better.

 

*

 

A month had passed when Mr. Gold brought good news to the household. It was Friday night and soon it was yet another dull weekend in Belle's life. Most people loved the weekends, and so did Belle in some point of her life, but lately she had started to hate them. The weekdays she spent at Gold's house were happy and exciting, but the Saturdays and Sundays were full of boredom and melancholy. When she was working, she had someone by her side all the time – in the morning and early afternoon it was Neal and in the evening there was also Mr. Gold. But the weekends she spent alone in her little apartment thinking what games she would play with Neal in the upcoming week and what kind of conversations she would have with Mr. Gold at the dinner table.

Belle shook her head. She was sitting at the table and the atmosphere was warm and comfortable. Neal was telling her about the books he had borrowed from the library – a few days ago Belle had gone with him to the nearest library to get him a library card since he had asked for one as soon as he learned what a library was –, Mr. Gold was humming a sweet little melody in the kitchen and the air was filled with the scent of ripening lasagna. Belle had noticed that Mr. Gold had bought a bottle of champagne for them and a little bottle of raspberry lemonade for Neal, so she had deducted they were celebrating something.

 

”– yeah, and I got a book about dinosaurs! I was reading it yesterday, did you know there are really many kinds of dinosaurs?” Neal was chatting cheerfully and Belle could do nothing but smile when she listened the excitement of the little boy.

”Yes, I know that,” Belle answered. ”What are your favorite ones?”

”The stegosaurus is cool! You know, he can defend himself against any bad dinosaurs with those things on his back, yup, he's the best!”

”The food is ready, you little pastavores,” Mr. Gold informed and interrupted the dinosaur discussion by bringing the food to the table. He brought those cups with him too, which he had served coffee with when Belle came to the house for the first time. ”Sorry, I don't have any wine glasses, so these will have to make do.”

Belle waved her hand and watched Mr. Gold as he poured their drinks. ”So, what's the occasion?” she asked and sipped some champagne from her cup.

”You haven't told her yet?” Neal asked, forking the food in his mouth.

”Told me what?” asked Belle.

”Belle, I... I have found a job,” Mr. Gold declared, a little smile adorning his face. That smile was something that made Belle extremely happy per se, but the slight trace of pride that showed up in it made it even better. ”It's nothing special, though, the cleaning business again. But I'll manage, and the workplace is nice. It's a toy factory.”

Belle didn't say anything. She just jumped up and hugged Mr. Gold.

 

*

 

It was already ten o'clock in the evening, but Belle still wasn't even thinking about leaving. Neal had gone to bed an hour ago, and she was sitting on a leather coated couch in Mr. Gold's living room. After the dinner all of the three had played cards for a long time – Neal won every match of course – and while usually Belle went back to her apartment before Neal's bedtime, this night she had stayed. Maybe it was the comfort that she felt in Mr. Gold's house which she didn't want to trade for the loneliness of her house or maybe it was the champagne that was rising all the way up to her head, but she didn't have the slightest intention to walk out of that door that night.

Besides, she had noticed it was the first time they were together alone. They had been talking about this and that, normal everyday things. Mr. Gold's new employer, the chance that Mr. Gold could get some leftover toys to give Neal at Christmas, Neal's new obsession with dinosaurs... But now they sat in silence and Belle had curled up against Mr. Gold on the couch. She was quite sure  _that_  was because of the alcohol, but she didn't care. She felt warm. Mr. Gold's arm around her shoulders felt like home.

Suddenly, he broke the silence between them.

”Belle, actually... I have to talk to you about something.”

The tone in his voice was serious and Belle could tell he felt uncomfortable. ”What is it?”

”The job I got... It starts after this weekend.”

”Well, isn't that a good thing?”

”Yes, of course, but...” Mr. Gold took his arm off and moved a little farther from Belle, not much, but enough to break the bodily contact. ”I don't know how to put this.”

”Just tell me the truth,” Belle demanded. She felt empty when the man's warmth went away from her side. The atmosphere started to feel really heavy. ”What's the matter?”

”My job, it's... It's a night shift. And I don't want to say this, but...”

”I have to leave,” Belle completed the sentence. ”I... I understand, you don't need a nurse anymore.”

Mr. Gold looked desperately at her. His eyes were more lost than Belle had ever seen them be. Without words he was asking Belle for advice, like he didn't know what to do. And Belle knew she should have been sad, but she wasn't. At that moment she realized that her essence meant something to the man next to him and that thought filled her with happiness. She realized that she wasn't the only one who had the positive feeling towards the other and somehow that made her feel like they were connected.

”Belle –”

”Don't say anything,” Belle whispered and kissed him.

 

*

 

What?

That was the first thought that came to Mr. Gold's head. The second was something reminiscent of  _oh my god help me why is this happening_ , and that was the first thought that made him respond to the situation – though his reaction was a messy one, arms wobbling like wings of a bird that was trying to fly for the first time in its life, and trying to push Belle away at the same time, which resulted in his late night coffee cup falling off the table in front of the couch.

”Wh... what are you doing?” Mr. Gold whispered when he had gathered himself and stopped his limbs from moving recklessly. His whole body was still shaking, though, like he had just been struck by a lightning. He felt that even a thunderbolt wouldn't be this big of a surprise.

”I'm sorry,” Belle said. ”I can pay for your cup, I'm really sorry.”

Mr. Gold waved his hand. ”No, I didn't mean that, it's just a cup, I just – are you mad?”

”N-no? I thought this would be okay since Neal is asleep.”

There was sadness and embarrassment in Belle's face and Mr. Gold didn't know what to do to it, or rather he didn't know if he  _wanted_  to do anything to it. He wasn't angry, not at all, he just didn't understand why Belle would do such a thing. He had thought Belle was a good person who wouldn't deceive him like that – she had to be deceiving, no one in one's right senses wouldn't kiss him without ulterior motives, especially not a young and beautiful lady like Belle, so he was disappointed. He had already started to think of Belle as a member of his family, like some kind of a mother figure Neal never got to have. And since he had believed in Belle's kindness, he had let himself develop a little feeling towards her. He hadn't wanted to define it because it always made things so complicated, but the feeling was positive, a combination of liking and even a bit of trust. He hadn't given it a name, but now he felt like he hadn't felt in years – he felt heartbroken. And he knew what was name of the feeling that lead to a broken heart.

Oh, he knew it very well. And because of that, Belle wasn't the only one whom he was disappointed in.

”Maybe you should leave,” Mr. Gold muttered. ”I'll give you your wage next week and –”

 

”And what, we will never see each other again?” Belle asked, her voice shaking with frustration. ”Is that what you really want?”

Belle didn't understand why the situation turned out like this. When Mr. Gold had pushed her away she was confused, but now she was angry. Somewhere back in her mind she knew she was overreacting, that it was the champagne that grew her feelings to ridiculously enormous dimensions, but she also knew that those feelings were real and she didn't care if they were over sized. Her feelings were born in her heart and only that mattered at the moment.

”I... I thought you would...” Belle noticed that her eyes were teary. She didn't want to cry, not now, not in front of the man who just had rejected her. She swallowed the tears back but she couldn't help that her voice was wavering.

”No, Belle, I'm not so easy anymore,” Mr. Gold said with an inscrutable tone in his voice. ”You should know it by now.”

”But... I don't understand, I thought... You seemed so sad just now and I thought it was because you didn't want to say goodbye...”

Belle couldn't keep her voice whole anymore. It cracked and the salty liquid trickled on her cheeks. Maybe she had been wrong, then, maybe she had imagined their connection. Maybe she was the only one who was in –

”You were right, I didn't. But if... If you think that your little tricks work on me, forget it.”

”Wh – what are you talking about?”

”I thought you liked to be here. I thought you liked my son and maybe even me. And I even held a little hope that now that your work here is over you would still come to visit us every now and then. Belle, I really trusted you.”

”I... don't understand. I just kissed you, doesn't that just prove that I want to be here with you? If you want our relationship to be purely platonic, I understand, but –”

”I don't want us to have any kind of relationship anymore!” Mr. Gold yelled and rose up. Belle was afraid. Somehow she could tell that Mr. Gold wouldn't hit her, but she wasn't afraid of that. She feared that he would do something much worse.

”B-but why, you just said you –”

”Forget what I said, and go away. You are not welcome here anymore. Go away and never come back.”

She had never seen him angry and that enough was scary, but he was screaming, he probably had already woken Neal up. If he didn't care about his son's need for sleep, there was something really wrong and Belle already thought about obeying Mr. Gold's order. But then she saw it, that little wet sparkling in the corners of Gold's eyes and she knew that she couldn't just leave. If an animal attacks you, in most cases he does it because he's scared. Humans are animals too and Belle knew this was one of the most cases.

”No, I won't,” she said trying to sound as firm as she could. She wiped the tears off her cheeks, bit her lower lip and faced the scared animal, looking him in the eye. ”Not before you explain what exactly are you trying to do. You said that you trusted me, so what did I do to reverse it?”

”Don't tell me that shit, you damn well know what you just did,” Mr. Gold said, his voice more quiet now. ”You tried to make me believe that you wanted me, when we both know that's a lie.”

”No. I tried to make you believe that because it's true.”

 

Mr. Gold didn't know what to believe anymore. He was sure that Belle was just trying to keep her job because she needed money, but it didn't fit into his logic that Belle wanted to work for him. Surely she could get a job with a higher wage somewhere else, where she wouldn't need to sell her body like that. But why else would she have kissed him? She couldn't possibly... could she?

”You could get anyone...” Mr. Gold muttered and got another surprise. Belle kissed him again.

”I don't want anyone,” she whispered. ”I want someone. You.”

”Why?”

Before Mr. Gold got to hear the answer, they were interrupted by sleepy Neal walking to the living room with a stuffed teddy bear in his hand and said: ”Go to sleep already. It's hours past your bedtime.”

”Just a few more minutes?” Mr. Gold couldn't help but chuckle. Belle giggled.

”Okay, five minutes,” Neal sighed and as he walked back to his room, Mr. Gold could hear him muttering about how adults were always so difficult.

”I guess we woke him up,” Gold said. ”Maybe we should finish our conversation tomorrow.”

”Yeah, let's... Let's talk about it when we have slept the night.”

Mr. Gold walked Belle to the door and helped her get her coat on. ”Thank you,” Belle said.

”No, thank  _you_ ,” Mr. Gold answered and kissed her on the cheek.

 

*

 

Next morning, Mr. Gold woke up and made himself a cup of coffee like usual. Everything that had happened last night felt like a distant dream, and he still wasn't sure if he believed that what Belle had said was true. But he was ashamed of himself, his behavior was far from proper. He was upset, yes, but he hadn't have to yell at her. He wouldn't have wondered if Belle never wanted to see him again after that, but he tried to be positive. He had decided that at twelve o'clock he would call her, if she hadn't called him first. He didn't want to get upset, because if one thing in the last night was real, it was the pain in Belle's eyes when he had called her a liar. And even if he'd find out he was right, he didn't want to hurt her, so he had to stay calm.

”G'morning, papa.” Mr. Gold heard Neal's voice from the kitchen door. ”Do we have any breakfast?”

”I bought Cheerios yesterday. Should I get you some?”

”Nah, I can do it by myself.”

 _They really grow up so fast_ , Mr. Gold thought while watching Neal pour himself Cheerios and milk. Gold couldn't believe Neal was already six, he remembered the first time he held the little baby who was his son. He had been so happy back then, making the first contact with his son and smiling at Milah who at the time still smiled back at him. It took Milah only three months to leave, but the times before her betrayal sure were great.

The funniest thing was that Mr. Gold hadn't thought about those good times after Milah was gone, not even once. It's like he tried to forget how happy he had been back then so he could pretend that he was happy in the present. And he had succeeded, he really hadn't remembered the happiness from his past – not until Belle came into his life. That was the reason he had gotten so upset. Realizing that he had lied to himself all these years. And worse: Belle had given him hope that he could be really happy again, but he couldn't take the risk. How could he? He didn't want to have to heal any more wounds in his heart, especially when he had to focus on taking care of his son.

”You and Belle kissed yesterday,” Neal interrupted his father's thoughts with a casual remark.

”Yes, we did,” Mr. Gold answered.

”So... Is Belle going to be my new mama?”

”I... I don't know.”

”Can you ask her?”

”Oh, I wish it would be that simple.”

”It is. You just have to say 'hello ma'am, would you like to be Neal's mommy?' and then she just has to say yes.”

 

*

 

Eventually the clock struck twelve, but Mr. Gold had to build his courage for twenty more minutes so he could finally call Belle. He tried to think about other things before that, he showered and washed his suit. He cleaned the mess from the last night, wiped the coffee stains off the floor and carefully searched the room for glass shards. He only found one, though. The cup had only lost one chip of the porcelain and he threw the shard away. But the cup he put back to the cupboard.

The phone rang eight times before Belle answered. ”Mm, hello.”

”Hello, it's me.”

”Oh, Mr. Gold. Sorry, I was still sleeping...”

”No, that's alright. Should I call you later?”

”No, I'm fine. So, what's the deal?”

”Do... Do you remember anything from last night?”

”I... I do, yes.”

”Good. I was wondering if... if you wanted to come over.”

”Sure, I... I'll come. I'll be there in an hour.”

”Great. See you soon.”

 

*

 

Belle rose up right after she had finished the phone call. She dressed up and put on her daily dose of makeup. She was nervous, the last night's ending wasn't necessarily a bad one, but she feared that Mr. Gold had made a decision to leave her.

Leave her. Hell, they weren't even together.

Belle didn't eat breakfast before she left her apartment.

 

*

 

”Good morning,” Mr. Gold said when he opened the door.

”Morning,” Belle answered. ”Where's Neal?”

”He's chasing the daydreams.”

The silence fell over them. Neither of the two could come up with anything to say. They just stood there, avoiding each other's eyes, eyeing each other when they thought the other didn't notice.

The long and awkward moment ended when Belle's stomach rumbled.

The voice made them both wince as they had to come back to reality.

”Are you hungry? Do you want something?” Mr. Gold hurried to ask.

”No... Well, um, I'd like to have a sandwich, if you don't mind.”

”No, no, I mean of course, I mean – I'll make you one.”

They walked to the kitchen. Belle sat down and Mr. Gold made quickly a full plate of sandwiches for both of them. He hadn't eaten anything either. He had been sure that if he ate any food, it would have come back up before you could say vomit. He also made them some coffee, and after a few minutes they were already eating and drinking like two hungry wolves.

”So, uh...” Mr. Gold started when he had finished his breakfast. He laughed nervously but he didn't know what to say next.

”Is this a goodbye now, then?” Belle asked. If the conversation would mean she had to be the next person to abandon Mr. Gold, she didn't want to prolong it.

”Do you want this to be?” Mr. Gold asked and, for the first time in the morning, dared to look in her eyes.

”Not really,” Belle answered.

The silence came back. For a long moment they just stared at each other and drank their coffee. The moment felt very dreamlike, Belle's brown hair glistened in the sunlight that came in from the kitchen window and Mr. Gold's eyes shone like the color in his name. They both knew what they should say, but they both also feared that if they were going to say it, the other one would refuse it and the moment would have been gone forever.

”Well...” Belle sighed when she couldn't bear with the silence anymore. ”What are we gonna do?”

”Well, uh, Neal said this thing to me in the morning,” Mr. Gold said. ”It's rather silly, actually, but he asked me if you were going to be his mother from now on.”

”So she saw us?” Belle chuckled.

”Indeed he did,” Mr. Gold smiled. ”So, I guess he wants me to ask you that, would you, possibly, I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, but uh... Would you... Would you like to be my... Um...”

”Yes,” Belle answered.

”The... The question wasn't – wait, you do? Did you really understand what I was going to say?”

”Yes, I did. You wanted to ask if I'd like to be your girlfriend, am I correct?”

”Well, uh, something like that...”

”And I said yes.”

”You did?”

”Didn't you hear me, silly?” Belle laughed and poked Mr. Gold's nose. ”Yes, yes, yes, I want to be together with you. But on one condition.”

”I'm sorry, I probably can't –”

”You didn't even hear it yet.”

”But I don't have any kind of education, so it's impossible for me to –”

”I wasn't talking about anything like that.”

”You weren't?”

”No. I can be your girlfriend, if you tell me one thing.”

”Well, what do you want to know?”

”What's your first name?”

During their conversation, Mr. Gold had panicked and relaxed and panicked again, but now he was seemingly uncomfortable. ”That is a reasonable demand, but...”

”No buts. Would you date anyone whose name you didn't knew?”

”Well, no. But promise me you don't laugh, okay?”

”Okay,” Belle smiled.

”Okay, uh, my name,” Mr. Gold sighed. ”At first you have to know that my dad was... He didn't live in this world, not at all. I don't remember a lot of him, since he abandoned me when I was four years old, but this one thing I do remember is that he was really obsessed with fairy tales. He was a complex man. He didn't want to grow up. I remember that he used to get drunk and vent about how he hated his life as an adult. Actually, the reason he gave me up was that he was going to find Neverland. I don't know where he imagined he would find a place like that, but he believed it was there somewhere.”

”So is your name Peter Pan?”

”No, no, that I probably could have told you. I mean, Peter is a common name after all. No, my name...” Mr. Gold sighed again, this time very deeply, before he whispered, ”my name is Rumpelstiltskin.”

”What? Is that even possible?” Belle couldn't help but laugh a little.

”Hey, you promised –”

”Yes, I'm sorry,” she apologized. ”But you really shouldn't be ashamed of your name. I think it suits you.”

”So you think I'm an evil midget?”

”Of course not,” Belle laughed. ”Well, you are short, but you definitely are not evil. And I don't think the Rumpelstiltskin from the fairy tale was either. I just think that world was quite cruel to him.”

”How's that?”

”Well, you know the story, right? The miller's daughter locked up in the king's dungeon and all that. But Rumpelstiltskin wasn't the villain, really. It was the girl's father and the king who did wrong. The girl's father lied to the king and because of that the king tried to kill her. Rumpelstiltskin only wanted to help her, he just wanted a fair price, which I think is fairly understandable, I mean you don't work for free in the real world either. Of course the price he had set was a bit too much, but the girl had agreed to it. And in the end Rumpelstiltskin got nothing.”

”I guess you're right. But I still don't like my name.”

”Well, I'm not going to keep on calling you Mr. Gold if we are going to be together, so I guess we have to give you a nickname. How about Rum?”

”Yeah, well, how about beer?”

”Apparently not, then. Okay, Rumple? Is that okay? Or would you prefer Rumple Bumple?”

Belle giggled and patted Rumpelstiltskin's hair. The man groaned but didn't shake her hand off. ”Rumple is fine.”

”Really? I would have liked Rumple Bumple better –”

Rumple silenced her by pressing his lips against hers. Belle smiled against his lips and kissed him back.

 

*

 

The next day, Neal, Rumple and Belle were having a dinner at the Golds' house. Rumple had cooked them meatballs and mashed potatoes – apologizing many times that he couldn't make a more festive meal – and bought some chocolate ice cream for dessert.

”Didn't we already celebrate in Friday?” Neal asked when his father brought the dessert to the table. ”What's it this time?”

”Well, for now, let's just say that we have a new member in our family,” Rumple answered.

”Hmm, that may be your reason.”

”What's yours then?” Belle asked.

”That I knew this would happen before you two,” Neal answered smugly and started to attack his ice cream fiercely. Rumple and Belle looked at each other and smiled. Even though Rumple was happy that he finally had another chance at a relationship, it made him even happier that his son was fine with it. Of course, if Neal didn't like Belle, Rumple wouldn't have ever dared to even think about being together with her.

The evening went on smoothly, the seemingly very happy trio chatting around the table, but Rumple noticed that Belle had a shadow covering her face. At first he thought it must have been something he had done or said, but he shook his head and abandoned the thought. He decided he really should get rid of that nasty habit of making everything about him. Or at least, he had to stop making everything bad about him.

After Neal had gone to bed, Rumple decided to ask Belle if she was okay.

”Yes, I am, completely fine,” she answered. ”I'm just... just a bit worried of my financial situation. I'm not sure if I can pay the next month's rent, since the money you gave me just covered this month. And no, don't apologize,” she added when Rumple opened his mouth. ”It's not your fault.”

”Can't your parents help you then?” Rumple asked. Belle was still very young, only twenty-six years old, and she had told him once that her parents were alive and well. Actually, Rumple had wondered why a girl of her age wasn't still studying. Most young ladies were in college. Though he knew he wasn't one to question that, since he didn't go to college either.

”Well, uh... We aren't in exactly good terms right now.”

”Has something happened?”

”Uh, um... Actually I ran away.”

”What did you do that for?”

”Please, don't judge me, I – I know you have every right since you have never had a family, but I have a good reason –”

”Belle, I'm not going to judge you. Just tell me, what's the problem.”

”Well, my father... He wants me to go to a law school. But I don't want to do that, I actually want to work at a kindergarten, that's why I took the job here. I saw your ad just a few days after I moved into my house and I thought that it would be a nice way to get some experience and – and to get some money for living, and please don't say that I'm here now just because I'm still wanting to work for you 'cause you know it isn't true – but what I was saying, I was in law school for a few years. I had to go there 'cause my father would have kicked me out of the house. One day I just had enough and I left. And it broke my heart 'cause I still love my mother very much, but she didn't have a say in this thing and she didn't want to break her marriage with my father, so I had to leave. I'm going to go look for a new job tomorrow, but I'm not sure what I'll do this month, I don't have the money and I know I'm not going to get a job very soon, and – and I can't go back to my parents, not anymore, my father would probably kill me or something –”

Belle chuckled weakly, still trying to pretend she was fine, but it wasn't very convincing when the tears streamed on her face. Rumple wiped them away with his thumbs and placed a kiss on her head. He tried really hard not to blame himself for being so poor, but it wasn't easy. Because if he had more money he could have helped Belle in this situation – hell, they had been together for a day and he already felt like he was a failure as a significant other. He couldn't do anything but hug Belle, bury his face in her hair and stroke her back, try to calm her down. Unless – god, how could he be so stupid when there was an answer right in front of his eyes?

He took his arms off around her and placed her hands in his own. ”Belle, I... I think I might have a solution.” Belle looked at him, questioning. ”If you want, you can always move here. I know this is way too soon, but if you have no other option – my apartment is small of course and we'd have to share a room, but I guess we could – I mean if you want to –”

”Mr. Gold, no, uh, Rumple... would you really do that for me?”

”Of course I would. I mean, I – I love you, Belle and I couldn't just –”

”Did you just say it?”

”Say what?”

”You said it.”

”What?”

”You said that you love me. Did you –”

”Well, I don't think there's a big chance that I wouldn't mean it by now.”

Belle jumped to hug Rumple again and kissed him with all the passion she had. Rumple kissed her back, and they were like that for a long time. When they finally had to break the kiss to catch some air, Rumple asked her: ”Should I take that as a yes, then?”

”Yes, I'm going to move in here with you,” Belle answered and buried her face in Rumple's neck. ”And yes, I love you too.”

 

*

 

Three months had passed from the day Belle had moved in the Golds' house. She had got a job as a nursery teacher but neither Belle or Rumple had mentioned that Belle could get apartment of her own again. Their life together had passed steadily, though they didn't have much time together since Belle spent her days in the nursery school and in the night Rumple went to clean the toy factory. But they cherished the moments they had together by sitting close to each other and learning new things about each other. They had their ups and downs like every couple, there were times when Rumple collapsed and apologized Belle how he wasn't enough and there were times Belle got fed up of it and stormed out. But mostly their new life had been good and they had fun being at home with the three of them.

It didn't take a long time that Neal started to call Belle mom. She was happily trying to be one to him.

 

The only real problem Belle and Rumple had between them was sex. Belle, as most ladies of her age, liked sex and wanted to have it, but for a month Rumple rejected her and didn't want to go farther than making out. In the first day of October Belle finally asked what the problem was.

”I'm... I'm not... I don't think I'm comfortable with it,” Rumple had answered quietly.

”Why not? You have done it before, haven't you?” Belle had tried to be as nice as she could, but she was frustrated since the kissing had made her excited already.

”I... I have, but... You... You wouldn't like it.”

”And why's that?”

”I'm... I'm not very good in it. And I'm... I'm not handsome.”

After that it had taken weeks of furious persuasion, prompting and even a lousy attempt at blackmail before he had agreed to do it. It surprised Belle how hungry for it he actually was. But the thing was, he didn't try to avoid sex because he didn't like it. He just felt that he wasn't worthy of making love with a woman as beautiful as Belle.

When they had done it, Belle couldn't have been more glad that Rumple now had her by his side. It was terrible to even think about him spending the rest of his years alone hating himself like that. The battle against Rumple's diffidence was tough and long and far from over, but every little victory made Belle happy and proud.

 

 

The day when they had lived together exactly three months, was December 20th. That was also the first day Neal had to spend alone at home. Belle and Rumple both were already on their Christmas holidays, but they needed to go do some shopping for the big day, and obviously they couldn't have taken Neal with them since they also had to buy him a present. They were planning to be away for couple hours tops, but still Rumple had reminded Neal five times that he should never ever put his fingers in the power points and that kitchen knives were not a child's toy.

Rumple had gotten a little robot dinosaur from the toy factory as a reward for good job, but Belle had suggested that they could also buy Neal a book since he loved to read and didn't have any books of his own yet. They were exploring a book shop if there were anything of dinosaurs or whales – whales were Neal's newest object of interest – when Belle got an idea.

”How about we give him this?” she asked and pointed out a book in the children's stand. It had been her favorite fairytale as a child, it had really inspired her and she wanted Neal to have a chance to read it as well.

”Beauty and the Beast, hmm? Well, it's your present, so I don't have a say at this anyway,” Rumple answered.

”Well, would it be a good one?”

Rumple took the book from the stand and leafed through it. The book had beautifully drawn pictures of a beastly man and a young girl who taught the man to love. Rumple hadn't ever been a fairy tale person because of his father, but he couldn't help but think that the story in that particular book was beautiful.

”I think this is a perfect one.”

 

*

 

After they had purchased the book, Rumple and Belle bought some food for the Christmas Day and a pair of warm socks made of wool for Neal. When they stepped out of the mall, it was snowing.

”This is beautiful,” Belle sighed and tried to catch some of the snowflakes with her tongue. Rumple laughed at her but he had to agree. It really was a pretty sight. The sky was already pitch black and the city lights blocked the stars from showing as always, but the snowflakes were shining as bright as the diamonds up there.

”Well, let's go that we won't catch a cold,” Belle said and started walking. But she had only took two steps when she felt something bump against her back. She looked over her shoulder and saw Rumple making a snowball.

”What, are you afraid you would lose a fair fight?” He grinned and threw the second snowball at Belle. She dropped her bags and took some snow in her hands.

”You wish!” she laughed and didn't even bother to make a proper ball, she just threw the snow towards Rumple.

”Oh, no you didn't!” Rumple exclaimed and tried to throw yet another snowball at his girlfriend, but the ground was icy and his foot slipped underneath him. He tried to support himself by grabbing Belle's arm, but it resulted the both of them tripping on the street.

”Sorry, dearie,” Rumple laughed. ”This old fox doesn't know his tricks as he used to.”

”I guess I won this round, then,” Belle said. Before she stood up, she kissed Rumple and whispered:

 

”Merry Christmas.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as my RSS gift for charmedrumbelle @ tumblr. The prompt she gave me was "winter nights and snowball fights", though it doesn't play that big of a part in this story (sorry for that!).
> 
> I apologize for all the cliches, but I still hope you'll like this! *3* Merry Christmas, dearies!


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